DENVER, Colorado -- Over 164 bored
locals clogged the sidewalk in front of Ethnic
Cleansers Dry Cleaning and Coin-Operated Laundromat
on 8th and Main today, in an effort
to force the establishment to choose a new name.
Protest organizer Concordia
Tindle explained "use of the name 'Ethnic Cleansers'
is insensitive. It causes trauma in many people,
especially the elderly, the disabled, the ethnic,
and the cleansed."
The owner of the laundromat,
Helmut von Chang, maintained that the controversy
is merely a misunderstanding. "The name 'Ethnic
Cleansers' was chosen to reflect the diversity
of my family, the variety of laundering styles
we offer, and my hatred of Jews."
"I am German and Chinese and
my bride is Palestinian. My business can steam
press your clothes like in China, dry them on
rocks as in Kenya, smuggle drugs in them like
the Colombians, overcharge like the Japanese,
or use soap made from humans like the Nazis.
This is 'ethnicity' at its finest."
Outside von Chang's business,
Tindle led a traditional striker's cheer: "Whadda
we want?!" "No more use of this offensive name,
but we don't care about religious violence!"
"When do want it?!" "Now!"
"As our advertisements say,
we just want to 'Get The Stain Out,' 'Ensure
Purity,' and be 'Your Final Solution,'" von
Chang explained.
"We don't want to censure
their thoughts or actions, we just don't like
the name," Tindle retorted.
Organizers said that future
protests are planned for Phuk-et Thai Restaurant,
Himmler's Racism Ranch, and Joe's House of Slobodan.
